I guess I’ve gotten over my writer’s block slump and am back at blogging again… I need it, it’s my therapy… Praying gives me strength, Family gives me good talk therapy and physical love, friends and support groups keep me going, and blogging gives me an added outlet to let it out and work through things… I managed to work through things quite fine when I had to cancel my talk therapy with the professional due to an insurance mess up… I already knew I had a good thing going, but it was good to see that it’s true, I can manage well if continue with what I know works well for me… At least, to get me back on track emotionally, and work through stressful situations.
Physically it’s still pretty bad, it’s just been plain rough and we have been trying to adjust to my increasing disability and finding myself in bed more often. The kids are starting to get used to it… When I’m stuck in bed over meal times they take delight in bringing me everything I need, utensils and drink and napkins and plate of food, and check on me to see if I need seconds. I’m getting lots and lots of hugs and snuggles, and we all are excited when I’m able to be upright and do more normal “mom” things around the house… It’s kind of funny, I cheer the youngest two on for their potty training achievements and they all cheer me on for making it out to the couch! I love those little dears!
Monday morning I was in bad shape all around, but my jaw and hands were affected the most… My hands were in fists and my jaw was spasmed shut, locked tight. Could barely get out enough syllables for people to know what I was trying to convey, couldn’t take my meds, and couldn’t eat… My jaw was that way for 3-4 hours, and I admit I was beginning to wonder just how long I should allow myself to be locked up and unable even try to help it with the few meds I have. In the meantime I managed to get my sister’s attention and the dear that she is knew without me having to struggle to make a sound that I needed to go to the bathroom and skillfully got me there… That day I wrote on FB that I have an awesome sister? Yup, that was the day she hauled me to the bathroom as if it was effortless, giving my uncooperative body the support it needed and slowly carefully guiding me to where I needed to go… Yes, she is awesome! She makes a wonderful nurse, a fantastic nanny, and an amazing teacher to my children. They have a pretty good education due to her dedicated and consistent tutelage. We are so spoiled and so blessed!
My jaw finally released on it’s own and I quickly downed meds and some food before it had a chance to change it’s mind… It was a rough day, and my speech came and went, but we managed. Help came in shifts, I didn’t have to worry about the children as I fell asleep and became almost oblivious to the pain for a while.
Tuesday was recovery day, still not so great, but not near as bad. I had to go take a fasting blood test (a repeat because they messed up the first one) was the first time I used the wheelchair in that office, but it went ok.
Today was the day Mom wanted to take me to the store where they usually buy most our groceries, so I could see some of the new items they have and also get some ideas for easier quick meals for my husband to make for us on the weekends or whenever I or someone else was unable to make something… It was good to get out of the house, had been tired of dealing with two potty trainees and the fuss that all entails when it is supposedly nap time… Even with the wheelchair the trip around the small store was almost too much physically, but I wasn’t ready to go home yet so we got some ice cream and sat in the car relaxed and visiting for a while. Yes. Exactly what I needed!
Tomorrow my kind mother in law will take me to therapy… I’m looking forward to the opportunity to chat with her on the ride there and back and get caught up on things… Once I’m in therapy though, I’m not sure what I’ll talk about? Oh, who am I kidding, I’ll find something to talk about, I usually do. It’s been a while, and it’s always nice to get to see her… It seems though that the space between visits is naturally growing farther apart and that’s a good thing, even though she is a dear to talk to (and having a professional validate feelings is always nice!)… I still haven’t gotten any word on getting an appointment with the psychiatrist, so it seems the therapist and I don’t have much to work on other than chatting about how my week (or weeks) went…. Oh well, maybe she finally heard word from the neurologist for suggestions on how therapy is supposed to go.
Who knows… But it’s way past time for me to head to bed so I’d better wrap up this post… Sleep sounds pretty good since I missed much of any naptime today!
Tonight, I’m happy, I’m grateful, I’m hopeful… sometimes it’s hard emotionally, but, I’m adjusting.