My mind has been working so much better the past few days. Well, at least it’s back to the level of forgetfulness and word searching I had grown accustomed to and have learned to work with. LOL! I’m thinking perhaps I was still recovering from the affects of the medication trial that really did me in and also, the blood pressure drops surely played a role too… Who knows, it may be that my moments of clarity right now may be just a reprieve before more changes, but whatever the case I’ll take it gladly!
Anyways, I wanted to write to say I have done a lot of soul searching lately and have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to move on and put my passion for writing to other uses.
This blog served a multi purpose, it was to help me work through my illness and the struggle with trying to find the medical help I needed. It was for advocacy, trying to get our story out there so more people knew about dystonia trying to take more of the mystery out of it and hopefully helping it become faster recognized and more easily diagnosed. To be a living example of how diverse we can be. It was to share with friends who cared and really wanted to know how I was doing. And it was to encourage others who were struggling with chronic and debilitating illnesses… I think for the most part it served most of those hoped for goals well, if not always, at least in some moments of time.
The thing is though, this subject isn’t all of who I am, or a full picture of what my life really is like. It dwells on the aspect of my illness, and that is a huge thing I have to deal with, but it’s not who I am or what I want to focus on all the time, or what I want to be the focus of every piece I write about. At present I am under the care of a neurologist who is doing his best to help me, so my frustration and urgency in trying to find help has been relieved for now. I do understand that advocacy is still important, and I’m not saying I won’t help from time to time but I want to change the main focus of my writing for now. In my real life I’m purposing to focus on the little things and moments shared with my children, they are my priority now, they won’t be little forever and I want to make the most of it, and I want my writing to reflect that.
I have friends from far away I want to keep up with, and locally at present I am not able to socialize much because of my chemical sensitivities and my dystonia etc combined… Therefore, I am in process of launching a new blog with a more balanced view of snippets from my life, with a variety of my thoughts, and a glimpse of moments shared with my little ones… I’m not sure exactly how it will all actually end up turning out… That’s the beauty of a blog. I haven’t decided yet if I will make it public or keep it private – invitation only, but I am getting pretty excited about it!!
I don’t know what I’m going to do with this blog here. I don’t know if I’ll keep it to add an occasional rare post, or close it down entirely… I want to thank each of you for reading and for your support… I probably wouldn’t have kept writing as long as I did without it!
I’m ready for a new phase, to move on. So, for now, I must say this is my farewell post.