There is chronic pain, that pain I’m somewhat used to. But then, there is pain from injury or severe spasms, and that type seems to be one of my biggest triggers to make my dystonia worse. I have other triggers, but nothing quite so much as this.
The past few weeks have been quite revealing. I struggled with depression and frustration and mental distress over some things, but as usual it didn’t make a change in my movement disorder symptoms. In fact, the medication I am on actually was helping me be able to do things I’d not been able to do much of for months… It would have been pretty exciting if I’d not been depressed over other things.
And then, I fell.
It wasn’t just a tumble. It was an all out splat. I had heard the youngest two getting into a nasty fight and without thinking I took off running and my leg slipped and I fell down hard. I jumped back up and went and dealt with the children… It took some time for the adrenalin and the shock to wear off for me to feel the full effects of what had just happened. I was happy there were obviously no broken bones or a concussion. Actually there was no bruising either. But my back and neck and shoulders and elbows and wrists and knees, and… Well yeah, just about everything hurt from the impact. I already have chronic joint issues, and the baclofen (muscle relaxer for the dystonia) makes them even more unstable and susceptible to injury than ever.
Nearly a week and two trips to the chiropractor later I’m still in incredible amounts of pain. I really did a number on my sacrum, but just about everything else still hurts a lot as well. It’s been a daily fight with the dystonia too. The pain has made it act up in ways it hasn’t for weeks. The spasms are taking over, and I’m doing everything I can to try to keep them from going into full blown storm.
With my body on high alert from the pain and dystonic spasms my sensory triggers are increased. Sudden noise (as children are wont to make) is just as painful as if someone bumped into me. The startle from a sudden loud noise is like a bolt of electricity shooting through me causing pain and in turn causing more spasms. I have gone for days wanting nothing more than to curl up in quiet trying to will the pain away hoping to heal quickly.
The injury has been a reality check. A reminder that it doesn’t take much to make the dystonia take over again. I’m not cured, I’m just holding some of the symptoms back with medication. A reminder that the medicine that I use to help my dystonia puts my other conditions at risk. Accidents happen, but I need to be more cautious not to take unnecessary risks. It would probably be a good idea to focus more on the connective tissue condition, and see what can be done to help that get better, if there is anything.
The good news is, if past history says anything, once I heal from this latest injury my dystonia will calm down and be more manageable again. In addition to that, some of the things that were causing mental distress have been resolved, and others are not as important as they were. Trying to get better has shifted my focus in a good way and the depression is gone again. I have hope that there are better days ahead, if I can just let these injuries heal.